Iím just feeling so overwhelmed
2005-05-11, 1:37 p.m.
Iím just feeling so overwhelmed by the legal stuff at work right now. Itís not that anybody is truly against me in this latest fracas; itís that Iím caught up in a lawyer pissing contest, and I have a feeling that Iím going to be everyoneís sacrificial lamb. In which case Iíll be crucified. Or maybe the scapegoat, in which case, if you know your Old Testament, Iíll be painted with everyone elseís sins and then set out to roam in the wilderness.
ďNo offense, Laura, but we had to sue you. Itís just so that we can get the proper paperwork filed to protect ourselves and our interests, but in the meantime, please come in so we can drill you with questions for which there are no answers, and catch your ineptitude on tape. Itís just a formality. We really like ya.Ē
ARRRGHHHH! Depositions! Injunctions! Temporary restraining orders! Affidavits! Hearings! Iím only tangentially involved in this deal, but I feel like Iím in the center of an ungelled galaxy, and all of this goo is slowly circling around me, becoming more and more and more distinct and defined and slowly turning into planets, and Iím slowly becoming able to make out features on the surfaces of the planets. And the natives are not friendly, and everyone is looking for someone to blame, or at least to take my videotaped deposition and edit it so that my eye-rolling and face-making are highlighted.
Suffice it to say that this started with a snowball that I naively got caught in and couldnít extricate myself from, and it has rolled downhill, slowly picking up momentum, and now weíre careening and crashing toward the bottom. It has blossomed, in a kind of foul, fetid slime mold kind of blossoming, from a troubled property that was not making its mortgage payments into something rather disastrous.
Not for me, but for other parties involved, and I warned them. I told them exactly what was going to happen, and what they needed to do to prevent it from happening, and they didnít do it. I believe that this demonstrates a rather stunning lack of business savvy. To have the resources (human and financial) to repair the damage before it really starts, but not to take action.
It could have been so simple and I would have made it so easy on them. I would have simply walked away and left them to enjoy their spoils.
This is not a disaster for me or my organization, but it is for the other parties that gladly and willingly got involved yet did not heed my warnings or advice, and they are going to drag me into it so that while it has no financial repercussion on me, it is going to take the maximum emotional toll.
Please be assured that none of this threatens my job. Iím not getting fired, Iím not quitting, nothing bad is going to happen in the long run. My heartburn is that Iím not really happy in this job due to things like this. If I could do my real work, Iíd be so happy. A little bored, but happy. Itís the constantly ringing phone, the emergencies (other peopleís emergencies), the wrenches thrown in to the works. I have a hard time dealing with the constantly shifting focus, the barrage of new (other peopleís) problems.
People calling and telling me what I have to do for them, what I have to get for them. How in the world can the future of the human race depend on me like this? Why will the sky fall if I personally donít get out there and prop it back up? Stuff like this makes me want to just pack up my shit and go home.
Of course, there would be no dramatic exit because (1) thereís no one on this end of the hall to witness it, and (2) I have too much personal shit here, and would have to come back for several trips up and down the stairs with boxes. Itís hard to do the dramatic walk-out when you keep coming back for more dusty boxes of shit.
OK, enough of the drama, the hand-wringing, the overplayed emotions.
Itís time to party, yíall.
Iíll let you know when I figure out what weíre partying about, and Iím definitely going to have a drink while I think about it. Well, after work hours. Until then, we toast with water!
Yíall keep the shiny side up and the muddy side down.
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