The Way Things Are



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Hereís todayís subject line
2005-05-23, 8:50 a.m.

BEST SPAM Oí THE DAY:

Hereís todayís subject line, courtesy of one Joanne Rush: ďSkinny, what about that?Ē

Iíll tell you what about that, Joanne! Címere and lemme kiss ya. Skinny!

Oh, my little ducks. In spite of being called skinny by a complete stranger, I am feeling oh-so-irritable right at this moment. Rat now. However, I am hungry, and I am highly hormonal, so thereís a perfectly logical explanation. Hereís what about that.

TMI: I keep track of my cycle by monitoring the day I ovulate. Believe me, I can feel it acutely. Unless itís ambiguous, like it was Tuesday two weeks ago. Then itís a twinge, a sting, a question mark in the calendar page in red ink. And then the following Saturday comes along, and thereís no question. It is worse than cramps. Itís as if my worn-out ovaries are just kicking as many eggs out there as they can, just to get rid of as many as possible at a time. If ovaries have feet with which to kick. Ouch, I say.

So then today rolls around, and itís two weeks after the ambiguous ovulation, and 5 days prior to the 2-week anniversary of the ouch-vulation.

Long story not so short Ė I expect to be hormonal, confused, bloated, and irritable all week. Lucky you!

We had an awersome (misspelling intentional) weekend. Lil Guyís friend Lou was with us all weekend, as his parents were down at Port A for the very first weekend away from their kid since he was born. So while DishWasher worked on my new house and played golf, LG, Lou and I hung out at the pool all weekend. They were easy to please, kept themselves occupied, had low-cost, low-maintenance fun, and mowed and raked the entire white-trash backyard while I was getting my oil changed (thatís not a euphemism) Saturday morning.

I believe I will short-track this joinal entry today because I am hungry, irritable, and lacking motivation. Iím thinking a taco and a diet sodie will suit me just fine.

Love and rockets,
Laura

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