The Way Things Are



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Oh, Oklahoma, with your wind
2005-08-29, 9:18 a.m.

Oh, Oklahoma, with your wind sweeping down the plain and such (because there donít appear to be either hills or trees to impede its progress)ÖOklahoma, you are OK with me, because you have Tulsa. I forgive you, Oklahoma, for your Muskogee and your Anadarko. Tulsa makes up for it all.

And did any of you know that one of the water features on the Tulsa map is ďDirty Butter CreekĒ? I canít make this up.

Tulsa: very clean. Very orderly street layout. Trees. Hills. Short-track horse racing. Lovely neighborhoods. Beautiful public parks. The barbecue was a little iffy. I guess once we venture north of the Red River, things go a bit awry in the BBQ department. But I still forgive you, Oklahoma, because Tulsa is a shining little jewel, an oasis of prettiness and culture.

Three successful meetings later, I got home Friday evening and lurched into weekend mode. Which is not as fun as it sounds: it means things like woodwork prep, shop vac, paint clothes and such.

Saturday morning, my husband Ė the DishWasher Ė got up at a quarter to six, and went to work out at the new house. He worked until 4:00 (thatís a 10-hour day), and came home and mowed the yard. Itís unnatural, his level of energy. I donít see how he does it, because I get tired just putting my socks on.

I had dearly hoped that my blood work (spellcheck wanted me to say ďblood wormĒ so I will do that now: BLOOD WORM) would show some kind of thyroid dysfunction, because, hey. What better excuse for dragging my tired, dried-out old hindquarters around like this, huh? Alas, my best ever excuse was thwarted. Am completely normal, or at least that funny much-maligned little gland is. NOW what am I going to blame for being all powdery-absorbent and fatigued? Iím sure Iíll think of something.

Today I get to go the radiology lab and have my girls manhandled, probed, imaged, analyzed, and I suspect, gossiped about. ďSmall, saggy, yet full of solids.Ē I usually try to crack jokes during these kinds of procedures because thatís how I cope. Plus, I judge people on whether they laugh at my jokes, so the radiology tech who snickers appreciatively when I say things like ďYa like my jelly?Ē earns my respect. The nurse at Dr. Sís office who looked at me with worry and alarm when I mentioned hobbits as she weighed and measured me (look, Iím short. I can drag the hobbit joke out for days, just try me) makes me feel like a freak.

On a final note, Lil Guy this morning started some mild complaining about having to restart guitar lessons. In an attempt to cheer him up about his future, our plight as humans, and life on this planet in general, I told him life is full of things we donít want to do but do anyway. ďI donít want to drive to San Antonio every day, but I do it. I donít want to work for a living, but I do it. I donít want to wash dishes every night, but I do it.Ē

Iím certain that by pointing out the inevitability of obligation and onerous burden, I made him feel a little better about his lot in life. Or perhaps I depressed him so bad he canít even blink. We shall see.

I have an administrative assistant starting on Thursday, so I Ďspose I oughta do things like clean out all the mess we have stored in her office, get her some furniture, a phone and a computer. Hee. Letís tell it like it is - Iíll get a new computer, and she will get a really nice, 2-year-old used Dell which unfortunately sports no wireless card or dvd player. Thatís why Iím the boss Ė I get newer stuff.

You know what would really suck (for her)? If I left all that for her to do. Welcome! Please clean out your office, and get yourself some furniture while youíre at it.

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