The Way Things Are



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I wonderrrrr
2005-11-07, 12:19 p.m.

I wonderrrrr�I wonder how many pictures I can put in one journal entry and not DEEEESTROY diaryland, and not shut down the internet. Let�s see, shall we?

Many a week ago, I promised some pictures of the new house. I went around with my crappy cell phone on Saturday, taking pictures so that I can (1) show you the new house (2) give you a peek at our dismal dining room furniture (3) shut down the internet and (4) (there is no four).

Let�s get this party started. Be prepared to squint, as the resolution comes from a cell phone, and the lighting comes from me turning on every single freaking light in the house and still having cave-like conditions in some areas, except when I took pictures directly into the sun. Watch out for bats and those white, sightless crickets.


This is the front of the house, seen from the driveway. Is�is that a concrete coffin liner in your front yard? Why, yes. Yes, it is. What�s it doing there? Trapping grease.


Is there a body in it? Not yet.


The front of the house is pretty, but Lil Guy thinks we have enough plastic chairs to qualify as rednecks. They�re RESIN, we told him. RESIN is classy.


When you walk past the plastic chairs and through the front door, you see the kitchen through a pass-through. The letters on our fridge do indeed spell out �Urgh Lady�.


Another kitchen view. No weird messages spelled out in this one. Are you blinded by the light? Wrapped up like a douche?


Our dining room and its crap-ass furniture that is not long for this world. Buh-bye, furniture.


What the hell is this? It�s monkey bowl, that�s what. Sure, it looks innocent, but do not taunt monkey bowl.


For monkey bowl may kill you.

I�m going to give it a rest now, chickens, because I have some work to do, and I don�t want my pictorial house tour to bring down the internet like a tranquilizer dart gun on an unruly birthday party guest a la �Old School�. More tomorrow, I promise you.

Happy Monday!


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