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AWESOME THINGS
2005-11-18, 12:01 p.m.

AWESOME THINGS MY SON HAS SAID TO ME

Conversation in the car, c. 1999

LG: I really want a little brother or sister to play with.
Me: Well, you know, Iím not married right now, and you have to be married to have a baby (gimme a break Ė he was 6 Ė I was protecting my precious baby), so it would take a while for me to get married, get pregnant, and then have a baby. It would take a few years at least. I donít think they would be the right age for you to play with, not for a while. They would be quite a few years younger than you.
LG(sounding very skeptical): Are you going to marry my dad?
Me: No, hon, your dad and I are not going to get married again.
LG: WOOHOO! IíM GONNA HAVE TWO DADS!

Conversation in the kitchen, c. 2001

LG: When you and DW get married, are you going to have a baby?
Me: No, I donít think we are. We are both close to 40, and neither one of us feels like it would be the greatest idea. We just want to hang out with you.
LG: But I thought you told me that when you get married, you can get pregnant.
Me: True, but thereís a thing thatís called birth control that keeps that from happening, so you can be married without getting pregnant.
LG: And you know all about birth control, and you have some, and you know what to do and everything?
Me: Yes, son.
LG: OK. Good.

Conversation in the car, c. 2001

Me: When DW and I get married, I'm going to change my last name to Washer.
LG: Can I change my last name to Washer, too?
Me: Nope. If your dad was completely out of the picture, it might be a possibility, but no, you keep his last name.
LG: But I want to change my last name to Washer!
Me: When you turn 18, you can go down to the courthouse and change your name to anything you want.
LG: Even Tooty?
Me: Sure.
LG: I'm going to be Lil Guy Tooty!

Conversation in the car, c. this week

Me: DW is headed home right now to wait for the furniture people, and when we get home, heís going to go back to work, and then weíll wait for the furniture people.
LG: DWís awesome, isnít he? No wonder you married him.
Me (taken aback and wondering if heís being facetious, but no, he isnít): Yep, heís a good guy. Heís a team player. Nothing is ever just my problem Ė he helps out.
LG: I love him.

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