The Way Things Are



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Seven things to do before I die. And shoes.
2005-12-13, 11:06 a.m.

Seven things to do before I die (I really have very little ambition):
1. Let my hair revert to its natural gray color.
2. Travel the US and see things like the Smoky Mountains and the Grand Canyon and other various landmarks that I have never seen.
3. Take another cruise, this time with my DW.
4. Finish painting the interior trim work on the house.
5. Become good at SOMETHING. Get some skills, like bowhunting, or nunchucks, or needlepoint.
6. Work out regularly enough to get back in shape.
7. See Donnie Osmond in concert.

Seven things I can not (or will) not do:
1. Eat okra.
2. Cheat on my husband.
3. Jump out of an airplane.
4. Use my kid as a pawn.
5. Quit worrying about my ex-husband.
6. Hold very much tequila at all.
7. Learn to like being cold.

Seven things that attract me to my spouse:
1. Sense of humor.
2. Sense of fun.
3. Innate goodness.
4. Sense of honor.
5. All the silly dancing.
6. Youthfulness.
7. Faith in God.

Seven things I say most often (I quote others quite often):
1. Iím a little drunk.
2. Wish in one hand, shit in the other, and see which one fills up faster. (my grandmother)
3. Are you DRUNK?
4. Did you use soap?
5. On second thought, letís not go there. Tis a silly place. (Holy Grail)
6. Come on, baby, sign the treaty. (Dave Chappelle)
7. Are you guys having a killer time? (Napoleon Dynamite)

Seven books (or series) I love: (Iíll go with authors on this)
1. Dickens
2. Jane Austen
3. Grisham
4. JK Rowling (I know itís trite, but shut up)
5. Sue Grafton
6. Jonathan and Faye Kellerman (I cheated here Ė these two donít write together - because I want to squeeze one last one in)
7. To Kill a Mockingbird (the only work of Harper Lee)

Seven movies I watch over and over again (Iím really not a huge movie person. I enjoy them, but Iíd rather watch Court TV or an hour of professionals organizing a strangerís house. Movies can require too much of a commitment)
1. Say Anything
2. Good Will Hunting
3. Monty Pythonís Holy Grail
4. Napoleon Dynamite
5. The various Shreks
6. Jerry Maguire
7. Embarrassingly enough, the Harry Potter series (I said shut up!)

If you would like to join in, please leave a comment with the words ďChurches! Lead! Very small rocks! A DUCKĒ, and you can consider yourself tagged.

AS PROMISED

These are going to be my new Napoleon Dynamite moon boots, I fear. They are all shoes. They can do anything.

Look at them. LOOK AT THEM! LOVE THEM! Accept them before they DEEESTROY you!

See, look. They are a little low zippered boot, with a semi-low, sturdy, yet not chunky heel. They have that nerdy old-lady moccasin stitching on top, and a snipped toe. With pants, they look like a pair of sensible pumps. But they feel like a boot, what with the comfort, the warmth, the ankle support. But not a high-up-on-my-calf-boot, with the itching, the sweating, the bulk, the tightness, the socks falling down.

They go with work pants, and they will work beautifully with jeans. They are every shoe in the world to me. And you can sing that, too. What is that Ė Air Supply?

Iíll wait while you try to dredge that song out of your brain. Hmm hmm HMMM HMMM HMM HM HM HM HMMMÖhmm hmmmmmÖ

Hah! A very controversial execution took place in California last night, and what do we talk about here? Shoes. You people know you can always come here to get yer daily dose of shallow frivolity. I wonít touch the meaty topics, unless they are penises.

Iím going to leave you with this for now. I know, I know. You expect so much more, yet I give so very little. I am off early today to take Lil Guy to the dermatologist to get his never-ending foot-rot checked out, and then, HORRORS! I am in Muskogee tomorrow and Thursday. Traveling once again with Mike, who will talk UNTIL I DIE.

And now? WE WORK!

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