The Way Things Are



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New Yearís Eve. We barely knew ye.
2006-01-03, 11:51 a.m.

New Yearís Eve just isnít the same once you are out of college, is it? In fact, DW and I were trying to remember ever having a big-ass fun blowout on NYE, and the last one I can remember was 1982, my senior year of high school. I went with my boyfriend, kissed everyone in the room, ended up with my shirt half unbuttoned (no idea), and threw up on my boyfriendís car door. It was really fun up until the vomiting part of the evening.

So anyway, New Yearís Eve. We barely knew ye.

The Eve Eve party we went to was actually pretty fun, in a standing around talking kind of way.

And the Eve party we went to ended up being everything that I expected. Wall-to-wall kids with every light in the house blazing, complete with a two-month-old baby wailing from a back room. We stayed because we are actually friends with most of these people, and they are fun to talk to, and how do I have friends with newborns? Am I the oldest person in this bunch? I suspect it is so.

We decided to cut out of there about 11:00, and as we left, I was hugging the hostess and thanking her, and she was asking me whether we were really going home, or just going somewhere fun, and I was protesting that we just canít hang anymore, and we were really going home, and missed a whole side conversation that DW had with a couple of the guys. He told me about it in the car.

DW: Tim and Rex asked where we were going, and I did this: Unh unh unh. (with the hips thrusting, and the white manís overbite) (the full-body international symbol for doing it)

Me: Nice.

DW: And Rex said ďYouíre going dancing?Ē

Me: I like him.

DW: And as we left, did you hear them all holler ďGood luck!Ē?

Me: I did, and I kind of wondered.

DW: So?

Me: Weíd better go straight home.

When will the man learn? You donít get a 41-year-old woman home at 11:30, after a 40-ounce Shiner Bock (I drank it right out of the big bottle, complete with a brown paper bag, because I am all about CLASS), get her into bed, and then turn the TV on. No. As soon as my ass hits the mattress, itís go time. I donít need to wind down. So needless to say, good luck, DW. I was out in about 5 minutes.

That reminds me of one of my favorite Cheech and Chong one-liners: Hey, baby, donít you want to be awake for this?


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