New Year�s Eve. We barely knew ye.
2006-01-03, 11:51 a.m.

New Year�s Eve just isn�t the same once you are out of college, is it? In fact, DW and I were trying to remember ever having a big-ass fun blowout on NYE, and the last one I can remember was 1982, my senior year of high school. I went with my boyfriend, kissed everyone in the room, ended up with my shirt half unbuttoned (no idea), and threw up on my boyfriend�s car door. It was really fun up until the vomiting part of the evening.

So anyway, New Year�s Eve. We barely knew ye.

The Eve Eve party we went to was actually pretty fun, in a standing around talking kind of way.

And the Eve party we went to ended up being everything that I expected. Wall-to-wall kids with every light in the house blazing, complete with a two-month-old baby wailing from a back room. We stayed because we are actually friends with most of these people, and they are fun to talk to, and how do I have friends with newborns? Am I the oldest person in this bunch? I suspect it is so.

We decided to cut out of there about 11:00, and as we left, I was hugging the hostess and thanking her, and she was asking me whether we were really going home, or just going somewhere fun, and I was protesting that we just can�t hang anymore, and we were really going home, and missed a whole side conversation that DW had with a couple of the guys. He told me about it in the car.

DW: Tim and Rex asked where we were going, and I did this: Unh unh unh. (with the hips thrusting, and the white man�s overbite) (the full-body international symbol for doing it)

Me: Nice.

DW: And Rex said �You�re going dancing?�

Me: I like him.

DW: And as we left, did you hear them all holler �Good luck!�?

Me: I did, and I kind of wondered.

DW: So?

Me: We�d better go straight home.

When will the man learn? You don�t get a 41-year-old woman home at 11:30, after a 40-ounce Shiner Bock (I drank it right out of the big bottle, complete with a brown paper bag, because I am all about CLASS), get her into bed, and then turn the TV on. No. As soon as my ass hits the mattress, it�s go time. I don�t need to wind down. So needless to say, good luck, DW. I was out in about 5 minutes.

That reminds me of one of my favorite Cheech and Chong one-liners: Hey, baby, don�t you want to be awake for this?