The Way Things Are



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I did some damage
2006-02-10, 2:54 p.m.

I did some damage, shopping yesterday. I seem to have become inspired by something (the drugs) to start pulling together all the loose threads that are the frayed stocking cap of my life. Yíall like my metaphor?

To soothe your savage pleated-pants and round-toed breasts, I offer you a rundown of the things I purchased yesterday with my Good Girl Money:

These pants: one in black, one in cream. This not what I paid. Apparently, ATL likes to price their things differently online than instore. Thatís good to know.

These pants, too, but not the jacket because it was still $139 in the store. However, on sale online, Iím thinking about it. You will notice that all of this is 100% wool, but apparently itís what folks in the Great White North call ďsummer weightĒ, which translates to ďappropriate for South Texas deep winterĒ around here. They donít feel wooly at all. I normally need a sedative just to think the word ďwoolĒ.

See? Wool! BWUH.

But these donít itch one bit.

And these . They have a very skinny little brown pinstripe. Also are non-itchy weird lightweight wool.

And this .

Please note that:
(1) it looks way better on me than it does on that frumpy model (DUH) (LOOK AT ME)

(2) I will wear it with some kind of tights or hose or something (something sexy Ė not like, lumpy leggings or anything) (something sexy and slutty like fishnets? Dare I?), as it is deep winter around here (highs in the 50s on Saturday! Woo!), and

(3) as dismal as my work wardrobe has become, I do have some freakiní-a shoes that have (a) 4Ē heels (b) and wicked pointy toes that (i) are inappropriate for work but (ii) will go quite nicely with the dress and the sexy and all.

So Iím seeing and agreeing with you that that dress does not look like anything special there, but believe me now and see me later, itíll be sensational. Highlights my perfect peach-like breasts and all that. Arenít I glad I made myself unsearchable? Yes! Peaches and breasts! Itís whatís for dinner.

And I got these shoes. At The Mothership , not Zappos. Iím not really looking forward to wearing them, but they didnít come right out and overtly hurt my feet at the store, so I guess there are WAY worse things than new unsensible shoes, eh? Yesh, there are.

OK, so enough of the shallow shop-talk. Here are some other loose threads that Iím reknitting into the tatty tapestry of my rich, meaningful life:

-am getting hairs cut today. Not just a haircut Ė Iím getting them ALL cut.
-made eye doctor appointment for Monday. My eyes have just been bugging me, man. They just BUG me. They have seen the years through a slow parade of tears, and now theyíre just kinda googly and unfocused.

Wow. Those things were pretty shallow, as well. I canít do deep today: Iím sorry, I tried. Just donít ask me WHAT I tried.

Have a loverly weekend, my pets. If anybody in South Texas wondered what we did to deserve cold weather and rain, hereís the answer: my kidís Boy Scout troop is camping this weekend. Letís all thank them. They have the powah to override the prevailing La Nina weather patterns.

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