Refresh my bowels.
2006-07-19, 5:07 p.m.

Thank you all for the recipe and dinner ideas. FYI: we�re having chicken teriyaki tonight. Chicken AGAIN? Yes, I�m afraid it�s true. However, chicken teriyaki is a meal that my picky Lil Guy loves, and he�ll even eat the vegetables that come with it, so for today at least, it�s chicken.

In case I hadn�t mentioned it, we�re cruising our way through Season 2 of �24�. What was that, like 2002? Does anybody out there remember that season? With the nuclear bomb? Do you remember the best line from Season 2? It is this: �I�m going to need a hacksaw.� We go around saying this at home, and then we�ll tack on �and a bowling bag.�

OK, so let�s see. Chicken? Check. Watching TV? Check. Working? Haven�t really mentioned it, but check.

GOD I have to get a life. If I could really go in-depth about work, I could regale you with stories that would leave you agape and agog, and possibly ajar, but I can�t do that.

We do have actual Plans for Fun this weekend (the golf club is having some kind of a � what I can only describe as a � shindig. It�s not so much the shindig, as it is the people who will be there. I�m sure I�ll have interesting things to talk about on Monday. But until then, you are stuck with me, and chicken, and watching TV, and obliquely referring to work-related happenings. I suppose I could post naked baby pictures of myself if I get really desperate for content.

But that is all I have for you today. It�s not that I just don�t have time for you, for you are my ALL, but I really need to pee, and wash my hands of course (oh God, yes, and pull up my pants), and then I�m going to hit the road. Mr. Surly went out of town, so we have Lil Guy for the whole next week. I don�t usually have him on Wednesdays, so I can sit here and daydream and entertain you, but not today.

I will tell you this: Wednesday nights are Bible study, and after about 45 minutes, I get bored, and start looking in the index of my Good Book for interesting words, and then I spend my time looking up the verses to see how the particular words are used in context. Last week�s word was �bowels�, which appears a surprising number of times. Here�s my favorite; it�s Philemon 1:20: �Yea, brother, let me have joy of thee in the Lord: refresh my bowels in the Lord.�

I had found that one previously, and after last week�s scholarly endeavor, learned that that�s really the best bowel verse. I sit there in church, like a really disrespectful 14-year-old, look up my favorite bowel-related Bible verse, catch DW�s attention, and then discreetly point it out to him. He always snickers and rolls his eyes.

Every now and then at home, I�ll excuse myself by saying �I�m going to go refresh my bowels,� and wander off down the hall toward the bathroom. Hey! I am totally going to needlepoint that verse on a little sampler, and hang it in the powder room at home. Do you think I�ll go to hell for that? Please provide your opinion in the comments.

Laura Flea is going to hell because she�s delighted by the word �bowels� being used in the Bible:

Yes
No
Maybe