The Way Things Are






A dog's gotta do what a dog's gotta do
2003-06-09, 11:20 a.m.

Penny's Manifesto

"I WILL eat all of the kitchen trashcan contents. I WILL."

"I WILL retrieve all of the beanie babies out of Lil Guy's room and try to kill them. I WILL."

"I WILL parade and prance around and taunt you in front of your company with the dirty undies that you left lying innocently on the bedroom floor. I WILL."

"I WILL run around the house like a Tasmanian Devil/Whirling Dervish every time you let me in the house, regardless of the fact that I was just in here. I WILL."

"I WILL stand under the table, and rest my head in your lap and look pitiful and sneak a bite off your plate from under your arm while you eat dinner. I WILL."

"I WILL knock that plate of food or cup of coffee out of your hand while you walk to the table, just so I can see if there's anything worth eating there. I WILL."

"I WILL jump on the bed, or use it as a springboard as I tear through the house, leaving my dirty footprints on your white duvet cover. I WILL."

"I WILL put my feet on the kitchen counter to see what all you've got up there. I WILL."

"I WILL eat socks, rubber balls, Kleenex, rotten pecans, paper plates and towels, leaves, somebody's spit out chewing tobacco on the side of the road, rocks, small toys, and then barf them up at your feet while you eat. I WILL."

"I WILL sneak up behind you and jump up and bounce my paws off your back when you're not looking, so that you'll turn around and pay attention to me when you get back up off the floor. I WILL."

"I WILL capture your shoes and shake them into submission and death. I WILL. Especially flip flops."

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