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Losing my touch, my grip
2004-04-12, 5:11 p.m.

A grip

I really need to get to a point where I can wrap my head around the various varieties of financing that make the world go around in the lil world of affordable housing that I work in. I just don�t understand this shit all that well. I don�t quite understand why all the players are there � it seems like there should be a bank, and a general contractor, and the borrower � me � and that�s about it. But there are so many different players and letter of credit providers and bond underwriters, and syndicators, and HUD people and geesh. And then people ask me questions, and I don�t have a clue how to answer them. What is especially irritating is all the questions pertaining to a deal that closed a good 3 years ago. Honestly, I don�t keep a reference library of deal participants in my head, people. Throw me a fricking bone.

I�m attending these training sessions � Minneapolis here I come � wherein I am supposed to learn this stuff. I need to learn it from point A to point Z, from start to finish. How to finance and build them, how to run them and how to sell them. And all the intricacies in between.

I just really doubt my ability to keep it all straight and be able to use it in everyday life. My brain stem regresses to secretary/admin assistant mode unless I�m actively using my newly educated brain cells. I don�t get to use them everyday, but I need them to be on-call at all times. I feel like I just need to study and keep every tidbit of information on hand at all times.

In other news, I need to whittle down these talons � my fingers are sliding off the keys. Not much else to write about today.

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