The Way Things Are



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Today at lunch, I sent a letter
2005-06-27, 2:56 p.m.

In the words of Texas� Governor Perry, adios mofo.

I SO want to get a bumper sticker that says that.

I realized last night that (1) we are moving in a couple of months, and (2) our house is not really a house but is in fact a carefully concealed quagmire of dusty stacks of paper and useless knick-knacks. So I�m enlisting the aid of the flylady to help me get our shit weeded out, boxed up, and ready to move. Just thinking about this is giving me a bit of a dust-headache, and making me verrrryyyy sleeeepppyyyyy�

Could anything be more conducive to a nap than the thought of decluttering the house and boxing up shit? I think not.

Something very sweet indeed is when your child learns for himself a lesson that you tried to get across to him, but he didn�t believe you. One of the keys to being a parent of a surly preteen, I believe, is to pick your battles, and on the small stuff, let them learn it for themselves.

I�m talking, of course, about his hair. Apparently, amongst the youngsters, the HOTT deal is for the boys to grow their hair out, and I dunno, look kind of ratty and shifty. So my kid has been eschewing haircuts for several months, and I�ve been allowing his hair to get longer and pokey-outer and pokey-outer. It�s as if his hair is composed of feathers, and he is now wearing an elaborate showgirl headdress. His baby-fine, thin hair stands straight up off his head.

Well, I done tol� him, but did he listen to me? Let me answer that for you � no, he did NOT. But last night, he decided that he does want a haircut, and he does want to go back to his short style because it�s just not looking very good. It�s actually a rather undignified hairstyle he currently sports. I told him that hair wasn�t doing him any favors, and now he believes me.

Another thing. He has a summer reading list, and the book he�s reading right now is S.E. Hinton�s �That Was Then, This Is Now.� An awesome book. I read it myself lo these many years ago.

But the kid fights reading. I don�t understand it, but he does. However, it�s not a choice � he HAS to read this book as well as two others. Having made some really good inroads into the book today, he admitted that it�s actually a pretty good book. He stressed that if HE says that, it must be a good book. I told him that I didn�t want to say �I told you so,� but I was right, wasn�t I? He agreed that I win on this one.

In other news, I went to Kohl�s for the very first time in my entire life this weekend, and bought 2 old lady swimsuits and one really cute top, which I am wearing right now at work. See it? I love that place and now I just want to go back. OK, they�re not really old lady swimsuits, but tankinis, because I�m 40-something, and there is NOBODY in this world who needs to, nor ever will, look at my stomach again. I feel so liberated, I skipped my workout this morning, and ate a cheeseburger for lunch. Woohoo! No abs!

And last, pumpkins, I bought Brown Cow unsweetened yogurt (FULL FAT! WOO!), the kind with the cream on top? And I sweetened it with a little Splenda? Yummy! I can still taste it. I guess there�s just nothing like a dairy product with all its fat intact.

Since I�m all dizzy and drowsy and full of dairy fat and suet, and a bit headachey, I�m going to get back to work. Because if I�m going to have a headache, I might as well work, right?

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