2005-07-27, 2:31 p.m.
Hmmmph. As opposed to the days that I am gruntled, today I am most decidedly disgruntled. But am I letting it show? Oh hell no. Because we donít DO disgruntled around here. We are HAPPY.
We (no, I donít have a mouse in my pocket, as my dad would ask, I mean DW and I Ė that ďweĒ) are getting closer and closer to having the house finished, and itís making me reel a little bit. You know how you think about something you need to do, but your mind reels backward and backward and backward, to all the things you need to get done before you can do the thing you need to do? Before you know it, youíre figuring in shaving your legs and balancing your checkbook, and now that I think of it, those are not bad ideas at all.
Hereís how itís going in my mind today. Please bear with me as I share my thought processes with you. Prepare to reel:
ME: Oh, man. In order to live in the new house, we have to move out of the old one.
ME: But wait, to move, Iím going to have to pack.
ME: Well, I canít pack up all this shit. Iím not moving all this junk and clutter (translation: DW and Lil Guyís stuff) to a new house.
ME: I guess I need to weed through and sort out the junk, declutterfy the house, and have a garage sale.
ME: Then I can pack.
ME: Then we can move.
Do you people realize how unmotivated to weed through the shit and sort it all out for a garage sale I am? Do you see what it will lead to? Itíll only lead to packing and moving. Yes, I am that unmotivated. First, thereís never a good weekend for a garage sale, but Iím going to just take a stand here and say that any day in which there is a good chance weíll hit 90* before 9:00 a.m. ...itís not going to happen. So July is out, as is August. And most of September. After the garage sale, we have the packing, which leads to moving. Iím not seeing much that makes me want to get my lazy ass up off the couch.
But Iíll do it, you see, because I am enlisting the help of the Flylady. So far, all I do is receive about 15 emails a day reminding me to put on my shoes and check my hot spots, all of which I immediately delete. Iím hoping that any day now, Iíll progress to the next level and start actually reading the emails. For now, Iím feeling virtuous just for being hooked up.
Can I share a little secret with you? Iím kind of tired of the new house. It represents WORK to me. I am so unable to look ahead to living in it and envision enjoying it. I guess this has to do with my current mental state of frazzledness, because all I can see right now is a dearth of decent furniture, the very real possibility of a scorpion infestation, problems getting the phone hooked up, and the never-ending task of touching up the paint.
Aside: we have already resigned ourselves to the fact that we will be touching up the paint for the next 10 years, at the end of which time it will need to be completed repainted. Aside over.
I suppose if I were able to confidently predict the end of the work and the beginning of peaceful country living, Iíd be a little more motivated. But for now, since I am apparently experiencing a frazzling disorder, I have trouble looking ahead to positive things. Iím in a mode wherein I wait for the next bad thing, the next problem, the next big screw-up to happen.
I am in need of a sharp turnaround in my attitude. While we patiently wait for that happen, please take this opportunity to gaze upon the most unsafe rigged-up wiring configuration ever known to man, woman, or other. This is how Gary the Carpenter got the overhead light fired up the other day on a particularly cloudy and dark day. I told him I was taking this picture for insurance purposes and/or evidence, whichever I needed first:
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