This one was a cutting tool
2005-08-01, 1:46 p.m.

�This one was a cutting tool. See � this is where the thumb and index finger fit�� and he mimes cutting some imaginary piece of flesh or hide.

�And this one is obviously a hammering tool.� He strikes an imaginary target mid-air, saying �Bam! Bam!�

�This was a punching tool. See?� He shows me how the thumb and forefinger fit in the grooves along the sides of the rock, and punches the air with it.

�You obviously had a campsite here at one time. I�ll bet there are bird points out there right under the surface.�

My stepdad is an amateur geologist/archeologist/old stuffologist. He can walk down a busy downtown street, and if he can find a shard of rock to pick up, he will demonstrate how it was once a pre-historic or Native American tool or household item.

Big funky looking rocks? No, those are dinosaur bones.

Chips of rock from the bobcat digging up a trench? I think not � those are bits of flint that chipped off a bird point. He can show you the tool marks.

Glob of melted iron from the house fire that happened here 100 years ago? No, it�s even better than that. It�s either old musket-shot, or some kind of melted rock disgorged from a volcano extinct these many millennia.

When I picked Lil Guy up yesterday evening, he had to shove rocks out of his way in the floorboard of my car. He gave me a questioning look, and I replied �Pop was here this weekend.�

LG gives a knowing nod.

I continued, �Wherever a trench was dug, and the dirt is all overturned, he was finding old Indian artifacts. He could have stayed out there for hours. It�s good to know that when they come visit us, we can just turn him loose out in the yard, and he�ll stay occupied for hours.�

LG gives another knowing nod accompanied by a grin.

Folks, I am 41 today. So far, my office gave me cake and a little gift set of lavender-scented lotions, as well as a bottle of Lubriderm Skin-Nourishing Lotion with Shea and Cocoa Butters. I demonstrated that I would use this on my face and boobs to stave off old age, to much shocked laughter. Then Peaches gave me a set of body butters (doesn�t that sound dirty in a good way? Yes!) and a $30 gift cert to DSW, the mother ship for all shoe shoppers. Then they took me to lunch, and just now, flowers arrived from my littlest brother.

He�s all growed up. ::sniff::

DW gave me a kiss and said �Happy Birthday.� LG relented and wished me a happy one after I hinted around about how nice it is, once you learn it is somebody�s birfday, to actually wish them a happy birfday.

And I have decided to only say �birfday� from now on, in case you hadn�t noticed.

Next prime number birfday: 43.