The Way Things Are






Itís a day of mind-numbing paperwork
2005-08-16, 6:23 p.m.

Itís a day of mind-numbing paperwork and cramps. Those two just go together, donít they? Might as well do this mind-numbing paperwork: I have cramps, anyway.

Lil Guyís football team got their pads and helmets yesterday, and they were told that until further notice, practices would be in helmet and shoulder pads, with shorts. So LG suited up with all of these accessories, and I drove him to practice, stopped the car to a slow roll to let him dive out the door onto the asphalt, and to our mutual horror, the other boys there DID NOT HAVE THEIR SHOULDER PADS ON YET. They had them lying on the ground, and helmets were nowhere to be seen.

LG struggled his large melon-shaped noggin out of his adult-large sized helmet hastily in the car, and I suppose just walked the Walk of Overeager Shame with the pads on. Doesnít that suck, to be the new kid, and to be excited about whatever it is you are doing, and to get all your shit pulled together, and when you get there, everyone else is all cool and blasť about it, and youíre the goober who canít wait?

Oh well, heíll get over it. I do know that sense of mortification, though. At least he still has his innocent enthusiasm intact, although this may be another brick in the proverbial wall.

Since I know you all tune in here to get updates on my reproductive organs and their tomfoolery, Iíd like to report that there was no discernible ovulation this month, and now I have killer cramps. Youch. How do you crampy people put up with this? And you take ibuprofen, and that makes you bleed heavier. Thereís no winning this, is there?

Welp, my friends, Iím truly rather crapped out right now. Or cramped out. So long! Farewell!

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