One of the football moms
2005-08-25, 1:08 p.m.

One of the football moms is one of my really good friends, and she�s been the one put in charge of sending out team emails to keep people informed of weigh-in, team t-shirts, etc. Here�s a snippet of what we�ve been saying today:

Me: Hey! Do you mind taking me off the mailing list? I'm still pretty let down by LG and I'm feeling all left out of the really cool parents' club. I guess I should have been on the 7th grade football team myself. I'm about the right size and love knocking people down. I have GOT to get my own life.

BFFM (Best Friend Football Mom): You know, after I sent that email, I walked to the kitchen and went �Oh, shit� I didn�t take Laura off the mailing list�.. � Nothing like rubbing salt in the wound. I did take your name off right after that. Couldn�t we get a powder puff team together?

Me: His football notebook is still in the backseat of my car, and I have to avert my eyes. I have clearly gone right off the edge.

BFFM: � We could recruit some of the other moms, stop at Starbucks on the way to our mom team practice� and,oh, think of the cute uniforms� does cellulite show through football pants because I want the shiny ones.

Me: As long as the pants are super-tight and shiny, I think it will hide the cellulite. In fact, that's what I'm wearing right now and it seems to be working. How do you feel about cut-off t-shirts? For? Strongly against?

Are you people seeing it now? I used to live in the same neighborhood as this woman, I mean, WALKING distance. Our kids used to be on the same little guys� teams together and I had My Very Own Girlfriends in my life. And now I live 30 miles away, and her kid doesn�t do the same activities as mine, although they are still really good friends, and I was looking forward to being back in a world where I got to socialize, albeit through our kids, with one of My Very Own Girlfriends.

Golf team and BSers don't really afford the moms much opportunity to socialize.

I�m really having to come to grips with some things. I miss living in San Antonio. I miss my friends. Sometimes I feel like I made a mistake, not by marrying DishWasher, but by moving to his little town rather than moving his ass up to San Antonio. Oh well, what we do around here is we make decisions with our guts, and we work to stick to it and we MAKE it the right decision, dammit. Maybe in a few years, it will become apparent to me that this really was the right decision. Because so far it has really complicated my life and made me feel a little isolated.

End whine.

One last thing, in a How Does My Life Resemble an Episode of �Friends� moment, I�m going to Tulsa tonight for work. So I�d better get some stuff done in order to minimize the �what is going on at the office right now that I can�t control� panic.

Dry and Lumpy, over and out.