The Way Things Are






It seems I need to further address
2005-09-15, 2:57 p.m.

It seems I need to further address the topic of Don: who he is, what he’s all about, why the hell he’s over at our house all the time (or used to be, until he very annoyingly got his own life), where he came from, and maybe even where he’s going.

Isn’t it interesting that we (meaning me) can analyze our friends in this way, and cannot do the same for ourselves (meaning me)?

EEENYWAY. When I first met DW, he talked about this Don guy all the time. This hanger-on. Stalker. Shadow. Kidding.

But who was this mysterious Don? Why, he’s DW’s best friend, the best friend who had kind of glommed onto DW’s life, DW’s home, and DW’s family, because Don’a family is farflung in places like the Pacific Northwest and Louisiana, which really isn’t that far away, but still. There ya go. Also, Don lacks a certain kind of confidence (the kind it takes to get a guy laid), and DW has all that and some to spare, but Don has a lot of braininess where DW might have smoked his away in college, so they totally complement each other.

Don came into DW’s life when everyone was in college, and some of DW’s best friends were at Texas A&M. Don was friends+roommates with some of the A&M friends, and so the whole group became one (in the eyes of the Lord? I hope not). And after school, since Don’a family was rather farflung and he had made this group of friends his family, he moved to our small town, and into the very house that I live in now. In fact, his old room is now Lil Guy’s room.

(Interesting aside: Nancy who reads here but to whom I cannot link because Diaryland doesn’t like it when I link, may have actually known Don back in the day in the College Station. And there was a period of a year or two when the three of us were in school together at the same time, but we didn’t meet each other then)

Don owns his own home now, by the way. He doesn’t live with us, but since this used to be his home, he feels very at home with us.

So anyway, I finally met Don, and I have to admit that at first I was a little jealous and resentful of the guy. DW feels a certain allegiance to and responsibility for Don. He certainly did not want to abandon his best friend and constant companion for the company of this woman – this INTERLOPER – so the three essentially became two, and I got used to having him around. He really is just like DW’s brother, except he has a different mom, a different dad, throw a stepmother in there, and a different sibling and extended family, all of whom I have met and adore. I’m sure they adore me, too, but who doesn’t?

My parents are crazy about Don, too. When they come to town to visit us, the first thing they want to know is what Lil Guy’s schedule is, and the second thing they want to know is can Don come to eat with us. The third thing is, do I have any wine in the fridge, and the fourth: do you have any Metamucil? Those are stories for a different time, though.

My sister was a little insulted that Don didn’t spend the money and take the time off to go to her Mexican resort wedding. She didn’t care about our cousins, or many of her friends, but she was not happy that Don didn’t make it down there. I had to talk her indignation down on that.

What is interesting is that Don is one of the only people who likes my stepfather, can stand to be around him for an extended period of time, and will actually defend him when the rest of us are trash-talking him. He says that he feels that he could age into the same person that my stepfather is, and I guess I can see that in some ways – they have many of the same interests, but personality-wise, no way. Plus, Don isn’t batshit insane.

It would be just as inconceivable to my folks for Don not to join us for whatever we have going on, as it would be for his family to come visit and for us not to be invited to come along.

But lately it seems that Don has realized that his midlife goal of getting married and having his own children is not likely to be accomplished if he doesn’t at least go out on a date once in a while. And to do that, he has had to unglue himself from us and strike out on his own. Because, although he and I acknowledge that in public, I do lend him credibility, as in “see what decent-looking woman will hang out with me – I’m okay"(I refer to myself as his and DW's beard), women that he dates really want to be with HIM and get to know HIM and spend time with HIM, not with him and DW and Laura.

And it has been a little strange, not to be able to count on the presence of the person who always gets my jokes (I hate to sound like a bitch, but poor DW is a bit intellectually slower than Don and me, and our stuff just flies back and forth over his head, while he contentedly sips his beer and watches the game), who provides fresh conversation other than what is left to be done on building the house, and who adds a level of entertainment and fun and newness for my kid, who adores Don and really wishes they were true blood-related brothers.

I suppose we have all taken Don for granted these past years, and have gotten used to having that fourth really fun person in the group. I feel kind of like I did when I realized that Lil Guy would rather spend time with his friends than with his parents. A little rejected, a little sub par. But at the same time, happy for my little baby bird, who has finally ventured past the safety and security of the social nest, and is striking out on his own to make a life for himself.

But I will say this: if and when Don finally gets married, he had better marry somebody that I am crazy about, because I won’t stand for some bitch adding some foul ingredient like raisins or baked beans to the friendship casserole that DW and I have come to rely upon so mightily.

And last: I think I may get to finally meet The Drinkah this weekend. I’ll report back on whether she merits the name The Drinkah, or if she needs a new name like The Chosen One. We shall see.

Until tomorrow, my friends…

So long! Farewell! My feet are stained! Goodbye!

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