The Way Things Are






Hah. Pictures.
2005-09-28, 9:35 a.m.

Hah. Pictures. I fart in their general direction. I am going to have to find the camera, and then find a spare 15 minutes or so. So far, they are not forthcoming.

Oh sure, I have PLENTY of spare time at work, as I am a slacker, but at home? I am a whirling dervish of unpacking, dusting, putting away, laundering, cooking, cleaning, snapping orders and assigning tasks, cracking the homework whip, making small children cry and dogs cower under the (shitty ass) dining room table, and generally running myself and everyone around me completely ragged. Ragged, I say.

Yeah, we have a shitty ass dining room table. I’ll take a picture of it for you. It is not long for this world.

Now for some fun.

Here’s a portion of an email I received yesterday:

“Good day,

Ever wonder why there are People veryq successful, while some are not.”

I have so much to say about this, so here goes. First, I would say that it’s email addresses that start with smurph. Second, it’s inattention to spelling and grammar, and third, a disdain for punctuation. Hmmph. That’s why there are People veryq successful, while some are not. I don’t wonder at all. GRAMMAR, SPELLING AND PUNCTUATION, PEOPLE! These are the keys to success.

In the interest of not slacking too much at work today, as we are producing MACHEEENS, man, here’s a little snippet of bedtime conversation. I call it “How to Spoil a Certain Something Mood.”

DW: ::sniiiiiffff:: ::murmuring:: You smell really good.
Me: (warily) Thanks.
DW: ::sniiiiifff:: You really smell good.
Me: (still wary) Thanks.
DW: That’s some really nice lotion.
Me: (hoping he won’t ask) Thanks.
DW: What is that?
Me: ::pause:: Proactiv.
DW: Zit cream?
Me: Yep. Sorry.
DW: Well, it does smell good.

Hey, he had to push the issue. Can’t stop with “you smell good”. He had to ask, and as is my wont, I had to answer.

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