The Way Things Are






I was praying for purple
2005-10-19, 5:37 p.m.

I was praying for purple, but I’ll take orange, if only for the “you pull of weird well” comment. I think I do.

***Your Hair Should Be Orange***

Expressive, deep, and one of a kind.
You pull off "weird" well - hardly anyone notices.

What's Your Funky Inner Hair Color?

I was in mediation on Monday, for a matter in which I was clearly wrong. I rolled over and admitted I was the bad girl in the situation. Be that as it may, there was some lighthearted banter at the end of the day, when everyone was relieved that it was over, and that we wouldn’t be going to trial. And might I point out that we won’t be going to trial because I admitted that I screwed the other guys, and I rolled over and took my medicine like a big girl.

The mediator, who I have met before, because you just can’t keep me away from the legal proceedings, was trying to figure out what actors would play all of us if we had all decided not to show up that day. He said that I should be played by that actress in Will & Grace, and I blurted out in front of a roomful of attorneys “The drunk one?” They all laughed. Politely, I might add.

But I swear one of them eyeballed me in a way that said “She might be a fun drunk.” It was the narrowed eyes of dawning comprehension.

See? I pull off weird well. Looking at me, nobody would suspect that I am one loud inappropriate comment after the next.

I don’t think that’s the actress he meant, but I do relate much better to Karen than to Grace. For what it’s worth.

In other news, I think the heartfelt reminiscences and whatnot might be starting up already. Dad called last night, and we discussed the stuff that my sister and I had already discussed (except the information about Dad’s sex drive: luckily, I was spared the revelation that a low sex drive is a 180 for him) (except I already knew that because Sis told me he told her that) (and she had to wash her ears out with burning gasoline)…where was I?

Oh. We chatted about his diagnosis, options, etc, and went on to small talk about the recent partial lunar eclipse (did you see it?) and Lil Guy’s performance in school. I told him about a science test that we had studied for together, and that he was studying stuff for 7th grade honors science that I can remember not understanding in high school chemistry. I went on to tell him about how LG and I finally got it (bases and acids – we know about them conceptually, but we couldn’t figure out where the hydrogen ion and the hydronium and the hydroxide came in – can you? I can) and the lightbulb blinked on over our collective head and it was so cool to (1) finally understand it myself, because it’s all about me and (2) see LG finally understand it and (3) realize that my kid is understanding chemistry stuff that I couldn’t figure out at 16 and that he’s not going to get demoted to regular science. Ptoooey! We spit on regular science.

And dad related that to an episode, long forgotten by me, in high school, when I was taking a mechanical drafting class (my only high school C and the reason I graduated high school with an 89.5 in a white robe, and not a 90+ in a red robe. Bastards!) and couldn’t understand some concept, and couldn’t understand why I even needed to learn the concept. He said it was gratifying to watch the lightbulb blink on over my head then, and that he imagined it was the same for LG and me.


That’s the sappiest, sugariest, most Hallmarky touching conversation he and I have ever had. EVER. Honestly, I was floored that he noticed something about me when I was in high school that wasn’t negative, that actually warmed what passes for cockles in his cold, black, bitter heart.

If it wasn't all negative, then what the hell was the point of all that rebelling I did? HUH?

It was weird. I don’t pull of this kind of weird very well at all.

6 comments so far

last - next