The Way Things Are






Blah! Blar! Bleh! Blech! Blich!
2005-10-27, 2:57 p.m.

Blah! Blar! Bleh! Blech! Blich!

Ive got it out of my system now.

I have some good news. Im not constipated or gassy anymore. But you know when your dog gets into the trashcan, and it eats all the chicken bones and some pieces of aluminum foil, and the next day, its all sad and lethargic, and you know that dogs stomach is in some serious pain? I have what I suspect is similar stomach pain. I didnt eat any chicken bones, but dont you put it past me. I might do it someday.

Its not an intestinal pain its the pain of there being something up in there that hurts. And makes me sad. Maybe its a stack of unfiled paperwork.

Jane (Im not an accomplished linker, so I wont even try) gave me some good insight and advice on working with my SuperAdminWoman. And I thank her. The short of it is, next Tuesday is Filing Day. Im going to guide, assist, and help. Wont that be fun? No? Dont you want to work here? Come on Neuroses R Us.

Today is my 4th wedding anniversary. Its DWs, too. Because we married each other, and thats how that works. Lets listen in on a conversation that I engineered, thanks to PMS, to be as petulant and trying as possible:

::ring ring::


Are you playing football on Thursday?

No, were done with weekday games.

Weekday games?

Yeah, we have a couple of weekend tournaments coming up.


Why? Whats up?

Well, Thursday is our anniversary, and I figured if you were playing football, I was going to let that set the tone on our whole relationship going forward.

Oh! Thats right, its our anniversary! We should at least go get some grub.

(doesnt that sound deliciously enticing?) Yeah, lets get some grub.

So we are going to get some Anniversary Grub tonight.

Then, in another spate of me feeling sorry for myself this morning, I set DW up with this scenario:

::ring ring::


What is your golf schedule this weekend?

Well, we have shotgun scattered blah blah blah at noon on Friday, and then select scattered every other something something on Saturday, tee times at 8 and at 1:15, yack yack yack social in the party room starting about 6 Saturday evening. Why?

Well, since Im alone most of the time, Im trying to fill my days up with as many chores and tasks as possible, so that I can pretend Im happy and fulfilled by just keeping busy. Im trying to figure out how much shit I should schedule for myself how much time I need to fill. I think I choked back a self-pitying sob here

Oh. Well, you wanna come up and ride along on the second leg? You could get your chores done in the morning, and come up and read a book in the cart and drink beer with us.

I might be too busy cleaning the garage. Ill have to see.

No, my friends, Im not bragging about my bad behavior. Im confessing. Im such a bitch. I try to gently passive-aggressively manipulate my SuperAdminWoman into doing the things I want her to do, and I pull this WAAAHHHH shit with my husband. I could write a book on this stuff and call it How Not To Be.

To DWs credit, he doesnt buy my shit. I dont know if hes too thick to take the hint, or if hes just really practiced at ignoring my antics. I suspect its the latter. He has the patience of a SAINT, one of those really patient ones, St. Patience or something. I have to really push a lot of this at him to piss him off, but so far, this episode, hes just very blithely ignoring me.

Im pitiful! Im hideous! Look away!

Anyway, here are the flowers he sent me this morning:

Somebodys going to be rewarded through positive reinforcement tonight, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

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