thnak YOU for your help
2006-01-31, 1:29 p.m.

Why in the world wouldn�t you want to go dancing with me? I am capital EFF-EWE-IN, dammit. Here�s how I sum up my dancing skilz: bad+enthusiastic=goofy. Who the hell doesn�t love goofy?

You will note that I did not knock any of them down.

This morning, dropping Lil Guy off at school, I noticed that the collar of my little jacket was bugging the back of my neck, like there was something pokey and scratchy making one little spot on my neck all itchy. I dug around back there, and discovered that the problem wasn�t my jacket � it was my neck. Here�s how that conversation went:

Me: I thought I had a little sticker or tag or something bothering my neck, but I think it�s a hair. It�s like a whisker back there.

LG: Let me see.

Me: Can you see it?

LG: Yep, you have a whisker. And it�s white. Gross.

I ask you, my friends�is this what I have to look forward to? White bristles growing out the back of my neck? How can I maintain the level of sexy to which I have become accustomed? What if DW comes up behind me and plants a seductive little kiss on the back of my neck, and my white neck bristles poink his lips?

I already have a weird white bristle that grows on the side of my face, but I figured it was just one of those genetic anomalies, just one of those things. I kind of like my face bristle, and I keep track of it, plucking it out when it emerges from underneath the skin. Here�s what�s fun about it: even though a mere millimeter of it will be sticking out of my skin, there�s about a quarter inch under the skin. It�s entertaining. Sometimes I wonder if it�s not an errant tooth. It grows for a while (quite quickly), and then it goes dormant for a while, and I miss it while it�s sleeping. It�s my little friend.

Unfortunately, I also have a longish hair that grows on the other side of my face. This one is harder to catch because it�s not bristly. It�s just a normal face hair gone wild. I have to catch it when the light hits me just right, i.e. when I�m putting on makeup in my office with the sun coming in the window behind me, and there it is in all its backlit glory. This one isn�t really fun like the other one; it�s dull and embarrassing, and I often wonder how I manage to miss its presence until it�s half an inch long.

But white neck bristles are a whole nuther problem and I�m not quite sure I want to go into that good night.

Turns out, getting old really DOES suck! I thought everyone was just whining.

ABRUPT CHANGE OF TOPIC: The award for most absurd legal action today goes to�.::drum roll:: Texas A&M University, my own alma mater. What the heck? (hint: that�s a link again) Can�t we all just get along?

ONE MORE: The award for best awkward email message goes to�::drum roll:: a person named Eric who sent me this, regarding an insurance claim settlement cluster fuck:

�Please, read below Laura. And as always thnak you for your help.�

And you guys? As always thnak YOU for your help.