The Way Things Are






Shrinking Pus Eyeball.
2006-05-10, 2:54 p.m.

What kind of sucks for me is that since Iím going to beautiful, sunny, COLD AS HELL North Carolina tomorrow with my husband and son, to visit my sister EB and my lil brother-in-law TB, Iíll be missing out on two days of work this week. The missing work part is not the part that sucks.

What DOES suck for me is that I have lots of work to finish up today, so I can leave lots of little presents around for staff members to do for me while Iím gone. In other words, Iím pulling together all the shit work I donít want to do myself, so I can come back to work Monday and find that the Shit Work Fairy has finished it all, and left it on my desk, neatly folded.

What kind of sucks for you is threefold: first, I just donít have time to be as interesting or as funny as you have come to expect and depend upon from me every day; second, THERE IS NO SECOND; and third, you wonít get anything else from me here until Monday. Or possibly Sunday, but donít get your hopes up too high.

In case you were really worried about my thyroid, my blood test came back normal for thyroid function, but I still have to get that little fucker ultrasounded. I had a lot of fun letting my doctor dig around on it Ė she made me cough a very dry, hacking cough like this: KAHF KAHF KAHF! So Iím sure having it ultrasounded will be just as much fun, and I know you canít wait to hear me bitch about it.

In other news, my lymph nodes are receding, and I can move my head around and mash on the sides of my face without pain. Thatís important because sometimes mashing on the sides of my face is the only thing I can think of to do.

What this means MEDICALLY is, there is surely some festering infection somewhere deep in my head, and hopefully the amoxicillin is killing the bacteria and drying up all the pus.

Yes, Iím sure I have a pus-filled cavity somewhere in my head, and I just hope itís not my whole brain. Or an eyeball. That would suck, but it would justify my purchasing a camera and documenting it on the internet. Just think of the daily hits! Whoo! ďShrinking Pus Eyeball.Ē

So, I bid you adieu, and will leave you for a while with ďShrinking Pus EyeballĒ to tide you over.

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