The Way Things Are






Eel gristle.
2006-09-21, 4:38 p.m.

Hah! Two days in a row. You lucky, lucky internet people.

This will just be a shortie, because I need to hit the bricks. Literally. Thatís part of what I do Ė I hit bricks. You should see my knuckles. Anyway, in light of my new weight situation, and my proactiveness towards thereof, I was thinking of things that I can eat for lunch that arenít take-out Chinese from the grocery store, or Arbyís, and donít cause the application of 1500 calories directly to my ass, and my thoughts NATURALLY went to sushi.

But then I remembered the last time I got grocery store sushi. I got something with a little eel in it, and managed to bite down on something gristly and boney all at the same time.

Eel gristle. So now my thoughts are going far, far AWAY from sushi. I did the RealAge quiz, and found out that my real age and my ďRealAgeĒ are the exact same. One of my things that Iím supposed to do to stay young (I donít know if I can go back in tie-yime, or if the best possible case is that I stay 42 FOREVER) is cut back on the red meat and bacon, and eat some freaking fish, already, goddammit! And not fried catfish, unfortunately. I wish I could find a website that would direct me to eat more fried catfish and onion rings. Oh, look! Thereís one now!

But thatís how I got into this overweight-with-a-cholesterol-count-of-220 boat (itís a big boat, and we shorten its name to ďBuelah MaeĒ): fried catfish and onion rings. But thatís fish! And onions are vegetables! NOT FAIR. I try to eat right, and then I find out itís all for nuthiní.

So. As we watch the thoughts swirl about in my head, you can see that at the center of it all, as it swirls and whirls about, is EEL GRISTLE. I am very hungry for lunch right now, and I suppose if I get hungry enough, eel gristle will start to sound pretty good.

I would imagine that those Mexican fishermen that were on that little boat for nine months or two years or whatever their story was, I would imagine that they ate a little eel gristle while they were out there, and they LIKED IT. They were GRATEFUL for it. They ate eel gristle on their good days and they are better men for it.

You see? Eel gristle is sounding better and better to me.

Here I am, in case you forgot what I look like with a fresh haircut. Good CHRIST, a fresh haircut makes me look really tired.

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