A snippet of pillow talk
2005-09-09, 10:09 a.m.
A snippet of pillow talk for your reading pleasure…
Him: Get the lube.
Me: Where is it? (searching under bed, under bedside table, wondering where it got kicked in the throes of passion)
Him: I haven’t had it by myself.
Him: I don’t know where it is.
Me: Did we leave it at the coast?
Him: Eww. That’s really not what the cleaning crew wants to find.
Me: I think we did. I can’t find it.
Me: We really need new lube. It’s your turn to stroll nonchalantly down the grocery store aisle with KY in your hand. Your turn!
Him: I’m on it.
A snippet of mobile phone conversation yesterday…
Me: Did you get the lube?
Him: Huh? Am I on the Loop?
Me: Lube. Luuu-buh.
Him: Loop? Oh, LUBE!!!!
Me: Where are you, that you just hollered out LUBE at the top of your lungs?
Him: Hah. At the convenience store.
Me: Great. Do we know anybody there? WHAT’S THAT? YOU NEED LUBE? FOR YOUR DRY VAGINA? ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXPERIENCING VAGINAL DRYNESS? YOU NEED LUBE?
Him: You’re a very funny lady.
Me: INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH, OR CHERRY FLAVORED? WHAT WORKS BEST ON A DRY VAGINA?
Him: You’re very funny. LUBE!
Me: SO DID YOU GET US SOME MORE LUBE FOR MY DRY VAGINA?
Him: You can bet your ass I’m going to.
This was waiting for me in the bathroom when I woke up this morning, as if the lube bunny had visited
And I leave you with a shining example of my flair for the inappropriate…
Fishing Tournament Steering Committee Member 1 (FTSCM1): We need to keep the tournament small for now. It needs to be small, with the rules very strictly adhered to…make sure weigh-in is observed, and just keep it tight.
FTSCM2: Small, clean and tight.
Me (very studiously taking notes): Small, clean and tight. Like me!
3 comments so far
I may be unusually dry, but I am small, clean and tight