Swallowing does eventually pay off
2006-01-13, 9:50 a.m.

Him: (turning his back on me in bed and saying good night)
Me: You don�t want to do it?
Him: I thought you were too tired! Of course I always want to do it, but you need to get some sleep.
Me: We have to do it. Shit, 50% of our relationship is based on sex.
Him: What�s the other 50%.
Me: Chores?
Him: Sex and chores? We�ve got more than that.
Me: No, I think that�s it. It�s okay; sex and chores is pretty good. It�s more than most people have, and we�ll never run out of chores.

I am very proud of something that I am doing. I�m calling it my non-New Year�s, non-resolution, and it is to be a LOT better at acknowledging other folks� birthdays. So far, here�s how it shakes out:

1. Rallied for Lil Guy�s January 9th birthday, and actually pulled together a sleepover and a Boys� Day Out.
2. Sent brother a birthday present (O Brother Where Art Thou dvd) just one week late. His birthday is January 3rd, and I generally procrastinate until I�m a month or more late, and then I just blow it off.
3. Have procured other brother�s birthday card, and know what I am going to get him (Taco Cabana gift card). His birthday is February 3rd. I�m ahead!
4. Got a card and a gift for a management accounting staffer�s birthday today.
5. Checked employee records, marked each staffer�s birthday, noticed that I missed somebody on December 22nd, got her a $20 Target gift card, and will send that out with payroll today, with my apologies. I did call her Christmas Baby in her card, my point being that people with late December birthdays should be used to being overlooked, so it�s really not my fault.

Here�s something strange: my husband gave me $250 CASH MONEY last night, for being, in his words, �a good girl.� �A good girl?� I asked him. Yes. I was a good girl during the homebuilding process, and saved money, and didn�t buy new clothes, or otherwise squander our funds on my flitting and fleeting wants, as is my wont. And this was before I wheedled him into having chore-sex with me. Oops, I wheedled again.

We have been transferring money around lately, since selling the old house, and getting all our fortune settled and snug and cozy, where it can hopefully start reproducing and churning out more and more money, so that we may retire before we die in a manner that befits us. Apparently, in some of his transferrings, he ended up with a handful of cash and decided I deserved $250 of no-questions-asked money, to spend however I want with no analysis or dirty looks or questions like �Why do women need so many shoes?� just for being a good girl. However, I am holding onto it for a while, until I�m sure the December credit card bill has come in without incident, just so he doesn�t regret the �good girl� assessment and ask for his money back.

He�s not usually quite so paternalistic, but I�ll take it.

OK, OK, I know it�s OUR money. We have a budget, we are both fully accountable except for what we do with our $50 weekly allowance, blah blah blah buttcheeks. In the division of CHORES in our house, though, he�s the money man. That�s what he does for a living, if you call working for your parents, doing the books for them and several other small local businesses, and playing as much golf as possible �a living�, but you get my drift.

Am I drifting? No. Yes. I�m back-pedaling and rationalizing and explaining myself into a wet paper bag that I won�t be able to logic myself out of.

Anyway, I got a $250 cash bonus from my husband for being a good girl. See? Swallowing does eventually pay off.