The Way Things Are






I wonderrrrr
2005-11-07, 12:19 p.m.

I wonderrrrr…I wonder how many pictures I can put in one journal entry and not DEEEESTROY diaryland, and not shut down the internet. Let’s see, shall we?

Many a week ago, I promised some pictures of the new house. I went around with my crappy cell phone on Saturday, taking pictures so that I can (1) show you the new house (2) give you a peek at our dismal dining room furniture (3) shut down the internet and (4) (there is no four).

Let’s get this party started. Be prepared to squint, as the resolution comes from a cell phone, and the lighting comes from me turning on every single freaking light in the house and still having cave-like conditions in some areas, except when I took pictures directly into the sun. Watch out for bats and those white, sightless crickets.

This is the front of the house, seen from the driveway. Is…is that a concrete coffin liner in your front yard? Why, yes. Yes, it is. What’s it doing there? Trapping grease.

Is there a body in it? Not yet.

The front of the house is pretty, but Lil Guy thinks we have enough plastic chairs to qualify as rednecks. They’re RESIN, we told him. RESIN is classy.

When you walk past the plastic chairs and through the front door, you see the kitchen through a pass-through. The letters on our fridge do indeed spell out “Urgh Lady”.

Another kitchen view. No weird messages spelled out in this one. Are you blinded by the light? Wrapped up like a douche?

Our dining room and its crap-ass furniture that is not long for this world. Buh-bye, furniture.

What the hell is this? It’s monkey bowl, that’s what. Sure, it looks innocent, but do not taunt monkey bowl.

For monkey bowl may kill you.

I’m going to give it a rest now, chickens, because I have some work to do, and I don’t want my pictorial house tour to bring down the internet like a tranquilizer dart gun on an unruly birthday party guest a la “Old School”. More tomorrow, I promise you.

Happy Monday!

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