The Way Things Are






Donít cry, pumpkins.
2006-06-21, 2:05 p.m.

My sweet pets, I am going to be outta here for a few days. Donít cry, pumpkins. Itís just that we do this fundraiser each year, and itís coming up this Friday and Saturday. I nearly called it off when one of my big-ass sponsors pulled out in a snit, but my other sponsors rallied, and weíve all decided that we didnít like the big-ass sponsor people anyway. In fact, we hate them.

Be that as it may, no matter whom we hate (and Iím sure that you all hate the big-ass sponsor people as much as I do, because you are supportive like that), Iím pretty swamped for the next 4 or 5 days. And not the fun kind of swamp with alligators and mosquitoes, either.


On top of having to go out of town Friday to conduct the fundraising activities, I have my node biopsy that morning. In fact, the timing of it delights me; I hope to have an impressive bruise by evening, and when people ask me ďWhat happened to your throat?Ē I can be brave and say things like ďOh, I had a biopsy this morning. Thereís a ridiculously small chance that itís cancer, and my doctor insisted that we get it checked out.Ē I really hope to milk that for as much sympathy and admiration for my stoicism as possible.

You think Iím stoic, donít you?

Hereís the very helpful drawering that my endocrinologist provided me, to explain what my thyroid gland looks like, and how it works in conjunction with my pituitary, via curving lines with arrows. Sometimes I think I can feel the arrows moving around in my head.

That certainly clears up a bunch of questions, doesnít it?

Iíll see you fine folks on Monday.

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