I have had an assful
2005-08-03, 8:16 p.m.

I have had an assful of this freaking heat so I am NOT going down to my car to retrieve the frikkin rocks and take pictures of them for you lot. Maybe some other day I�ll entertain you (or not) with pictures of rocks. Today is not that day.

It has been up in the 90s? the 100s? for I don�t know or care how long. That�s just the way it is �round heyah in these parts this time of year. It�s just fucking goda�mighty hot. But today, I�ve had enough of it. I would like to kindly request that we get a break, and that the good Lord visit this insanity upon some other part of the country, because I�ve had enough. Amen. God bless us everyone.

I had a meeting today with two of my lawyers. I saw them walking through the parking lot toward the office, and when I heard them come in the door and the receptionist coming down the hall to get me, I called out �Are my gentlemen callers here?� �Yes, Miss Laura,� was the answer. It was an awesome synergy of antiquated dialogue.

I tried a new thing today. Oh, by the way, it�s 6:37 pm when I�m writing this � not the usual middle of the work day time that I usually do. So I tried something new today to assist with my considerable time-wasting and daydreaming wont. In true DW style, I kept a log. Not THAT kind of log, silly. A log of all my workday activities and the time it took me to do them.

For example, allow me to treat you to these juicy morsels:

9:33 am: sort checks and deposits, get balance, file.
9:52 am: get Whosits contact info to Whatshisname.
9:54 am: prep 2 bank deposits.
10:03 am: bank

And so it goes. The wonderful thing about this is: (1) I kept moving forward and doing my shit, (2) there is only one blank spot where I apparently blacked out and have no memory of what I was doing, and it lasted a little over an hour after lunch (I was reading all y�all�s blogs � DUH!), (3) there is no 3, (4) I did some tasks that I had been procrastinating upon wildly for the past few weeks, and (5) I can see how all the little shit keeps sticking its cold, wet nose into the side of my ribs, poking me, getting in my face, demanding that I pay attention to it whilst I try to stay on track with the larger projects.

Down, little shit! Down! Bad boy!

It was beautiful, man. Just beautiful. ::sniff::

I had to go out in the heat dad blast it, to the office of one of our former management agents to retrieve 9 boxes of documents (which I like to call box o� dox), and stood out in their parking for a few minutes in the shade cast by their rather shabby building, talking to a very nice lady who I think works for the wrong company and should come work for me. Anyway, as I stood there talking to her, I could feel the sweat running down my sides and down the backs of my legs. Mmmm, butt-overhang sweat. You want me, don�t you? Do y�all see why I�d like ONE FREAKING BREAK FROM THIS ASSININE HEAT? Do you hear my, God? Are you there? It�s me, Laura.

So I�m sexy, I�m sweaty, my feet have swollen upon into little red balloon animals, my face has melted off, and I have to go talk to Lil Guy�s scoutmaster, because that�s just the kind of nerdy family we are. We have a scoutmaster, he wears the uniform, and WE LIKE HIM. WE THINK HE�S COOL.

This has been a hit-n-run joinal entry, �specially for you (and YOU � you know who you are, or don�t you? Or maybe I�m making this part up. Or am I?), compliments of me.