Whut it dew?
2005-12-16, 1:39 p.m.

DATELINE: Wednesday night

Am in Muskogee Oklahoma USA. Honing body language signals to co-worker that indicate my disinclination to listen or talk or be talked to. Hotel room is a salute to the decorating flair of the 90s. Southwestern in Ralph Lauren colors.

Oh, hi. I�m either catching a cold, or am highly allergic to either Texas, Oklahoma, or both. We did some driving from town to town earlier today, and I got to see the pretty part of Oklahoma. Note: it�s not in Muskogee, which continues to confound me with its very existence. I hope one day to figure out its reason for being.

On a separate yet related note, I saw a sweatshirt today in the airport all done up like the Mountain Dew label that said �Whut it Dew?� It may be telling that this sweatshirt wearer was traveling with a companion proudly wearing a sweatshirt emblazoned with Texas A&M�s logo. Or it may not be telling. And if it is telling, whut it tell?

Here�s an advertising slogan for you: �Muskogee! Whut it Dew?� I�d like to see this on colorful banners, hanging from street lights downtown, fluttering gaily and proudly in the wind, which comes sweeping down the plain.

Anyway, back to the cold/allergies. I�m pretty sure it�s allergies, and I�m mighty tempted to get one of those nasal washer things. I keep calling it a nose kettle, but I�m pretty sure that�s not the real name, and NOT what I should call it when I walk into GNC looking for one.

Nose kettle! Whut it fer?

Gimme one of them nose kettles thar.

Being as it�s almost 8:30 (p.m.! at night!), I�m rather tired and ready for night-night. I did some work � made up a big-ass spreadsheet that shows some numbers and some words for an attorney, and now I�m ready to

LAY MY WEARY HEAD TO RE-EH-EST!

Yes, I�m lame. I�m going to bed at 8:30. Y�all all get in line and bite my big white butt. It�s Muskogee, and there�s a reason people go to bed early in these parts, and it�s not because they�re gettin� any.

DATELINE: Friday afternoon

I apologize for all the above. It was neither funny nor called for. In order to make up for it, I�m just going to give you some pictures from my drive home from getting my hairs cut today.

If you look closely, you will see that this truck has more cowbell (hanging off its hindparts)

If hanging the reindeer from the tree in effigy is wrong, I don�t wanna be right.