I had written an entry today
2006-02-07, 10:54 a.m.

I had written an entry today dedicated entirely to:

�Here�s some more �My Child and My Ex-Husband� angst for ya. No really, thank YOU.�

But thank GOD, Natalie tagged me (y�all go visit her � she�s PRECIOUS, and she never ever cusses) (whereas I rely wholly on cursing in a desperate bid to make myself interesting), so I have something fun and light for you. No angst! You�re welcome!

FOUR JOBS I'VE HAD
Some of these jobs were just as boring and/or frustrating and hard to understand as their titles suggest:
1. Planning Coordinator for an urban planning organization (we planned things)
2. Admin Director for a property management company (we managed things)
3. Salesperson at a landscape nursery (no explanation necessary, I think)
4. Scapegoat and whipping girl at a special events promotions company. I was viewed as the source of all evil, and blamed for various disasters daily. Let me say that the job market in Texas crashed right as I got out of school and I was lucky to work for $1000/month amongst people who hated me. Mean people suck! But I always wondered why they had me working there if they hated my ass so bad. The reason? I FREAKING RULE and am indispensable. And they were MENTAL.

FOUR MOVIES I CAN WATCH OVER AND OVER
1. Napoleon Dynamite
2. Monty Python � The Holy Grail
3. Shrek 1
4. Shrek 2

FOUR PLACES I HAVE LIVED
1. Dallas
2. College Station
3. San Antonio
4. Uh, um. Temple, TX (look it up! It�s between Waco and Austin)

FOUR TV SHOWS I LOVE
1. What Not To Wear
2. The Office
3. How I Met Your Mother
4. Two and a Half Men (MEEEEEN!)

FOUR PLACES I'VE VACATIONED
1. Brunswick, ME
2. The Mexican Riviera
3. Various stops on cruise ships in the Caribbean
4. Various stops on a cruise ship from Montreal to NYC (up the Saint Lawrence and down the Atlantic coast)

FOUR OF MY FAVORITE DISHES
1. The Whataburger Breakfast on a Bun
2. Various roasted beasts in the crockpot with mashed potatoes. This is tonight�s dinner. Coincidence? I think not.
3. A big-ass plate of fried catfish. Or a big-ass plate of Maine lobster roll. Whenever Robyn goes to Maine, I email her and bug her to mail me a lobster roll. She always replies and is very polite. But so far, no lobster roll in the mail.
4. Cheeseburger and fries, chased with a cold beer. Cold beer!

FOUR SITES I VISIT DAILY
1. Go Fug Yourself
2. Dlisted
3. The Superficial
4. Stuff On My Cat

Y�all know I visit many, many more each day; these are just my early-morning appetizer � they prime me for my daily agenda of slackitude and time-wasting.

FOUR PLACES I WOULD RATHER BE RIGHT NOW
1. Camping and hiking somewhere neat. Like here .
2. Home, I guess. There�s a lot of laundry to be done.
3. I would like to visit the beach in North Carolina. Sometime after March or April, though.
4. I don�t really know what else to say. Questions like this confuse me. I tend to think so far deep in the box, that I BECOME the box. Where would I rather be? You mean there are places other than right here, right now? Hmmm. Maybe shopping and magically finding pants that fit my stumpy ass, a dress to wear to several weddings this spring, and a new pair of sensible black loafer-type shoes.

Which is the perfect segue for this discussion:

What kind of sensible, black loafer-type shoes do you wear with your black pants to work during the winter? I was going to treat you to a picture but my cell phone and my email are not playing nicely with each other today.

I went to visit the mothership yesterday � DSW Shoe Warehouse (which is a redundant name � I just felt compelled to point that out) � because I belong to the Shoe Club, and I have a $25 gift certificate to spend. Being really disheartened by my 1996 black sensible loafers, I set my sights on replacing them.

The hell? All the new replacement shoes looked just like my old ones, except a lot of them didn�t have backs on them, so my feet could simultaneously (1) slide around dangerously and (2) be cold. No thanks.

So please, tell me. What do I need to look for? Find me some new shoes that work with worky pants, are comfortable enough that I�m not hating life by the end of the day, and that don�t scream �MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN WHO HAS GIVEN UP! MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN WHO HAS GIVEN UP!�

I tried on several pairs yesterday, and there was one pair so heinous, yet so comfie, that I had to use my sister as a touchstone for fashion reality, i.e. �would I let EB see me in these shoes?� The answer was a resounding NO.