The Way Things Are



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I had written an entry today
2006-02-07, 10:54 a.m.

I had written an entry today dedicated entirely to:

“Here’s some more “My Child and My Ex-Husband” angst for ya. No really, thank YOU.”

But thank GOD, Natalie tagged me (y’all go visit her – she’s PRECIOUS, and she never ever cusses) (whereas I rely wholly on cursing in a desperate bid to make myself interesting), so I have something fun and light for you. No angst! You’re welcome!

FOUR JOBS I'VE HAD
Some of these jobs were just as boring and/or frustrating and hard to understand as their titles suggest:
1. Planning Coordinator for an urban planning organization (we planned things)
2. Admin Director for a property management company (we managed things)
3. Salesperson at a landscape nursery (no explanation necessary, I think)
4. Scapegoat and whipping girl at a special events promotions company. I was viewed as the source of all evil, and blamed for various disasters daily. Let me say that the job market in Texas crashed right as I got out of school and I was lucky to work for $1000/month amongst people who hated me. Mean people suck! But I always wondered why they had me working there if they hated my ass so bad. The reason? I FREAKING RULE and am indispensable. And they were MENTAL.

FOUR MOVIES I CAN WATCH OVER AND OVER
1. Napoleon Dynamite
2. Monty Python – The Holy Grail
3. Shrek 1
4. Shrek 2

FOUR PLACES I HAVE LIVED
1. Dallas
2. College Station
3. San Antonio
4. Uh, um. Temple, TX (look it up! It’s between Waco and Austin)

FOUR TV SHOWS I LOVE
1. What Not To Wear
2. The Office
3. How I Met Your Mother
4. Two and a Half Men (MEEEEEN!)

FOUR PLACES I'VE VACATIONED
1. Brunswick, ME
2. The Mexican Riviera
3. Various stops on cruise ships in the Caribbean
4. Various stops on a cruise ship from Montreal to NYC (up the Saint Lawrence and down the Atlantic coast)

FOUR OF MY FAVORITE DISHES
1. The Whataburger Breakfast on a Bun
2. Various roasted beasts in the crockpot with mashed potatoes. This is tonight’s dinner. Coincidence? I think not.
3. A big-ass plate of fried catfish. Or a big-ass plate of Maine lobster roll. Whenever Robyn goes to Maine, I email her and bug her to mail me a lobster roll. She always replies and is very polite. But so far, no lobster roll in the mail.
4. Cheeseburger and fries, chased with a cold beer. Cold beer!

FOUR SITES I VISIT DAILY
1. Go Fug Yourself
2. Dlisted
3. The Superficial
4. Stuff On My Cat

Y’all know I visit many, many more each day; these are just my early-morning appetizer – they prime me for my daily agenda of slackitude and time-wasting.

FOUR PLACES I WOULD RATHER BE RIGHT NOW
1. Camping and hiking somewhere neat. Like here .
2. Home, I guess. There’s a lot of laundry to be done.
3. I would like to visit the beach in North Carolina. Sometime after March or April, though.
4. I don’t really know what else to say. Questions like this confuse me. I tend to think so far deep in the box, that I BECOME the box. Where would I rather be? You mean there are places other than right here, right now? Hmmm. Maybe shopping and magically finding pants that fit my stumpy ass, a dress to wear to several weddings this spring, and a new pair of sensible black loafer-type shoes.

Which is the perfect segue for this discussion:

What kind of sensible, black loafer-type shoes do you wear with your black pants to work during the winter? I was going to treat you to a picture but my cell phone and my email are not playing nicely with each other today.

I went to visit the mothership yesterday – DSW Shoe Warehouse (which is a redundant name – I just felt compelled to point that out) – because I belong to the Shoe Club, and I have a $25 gift certificate to spend. Being really disheartened by my 1996 black sensible loafers, I set my sights on replacing them.

The hell? All the new replacement shoes looked just like my old ones, except a lot of them didn’t have backs on them, so my feet could simultaneously (1) slide around dangerously and (2) be cold. No thanks.

So please, tell me. What do I need to look for? Find me some new shoes that work with worky pants, are comfortable enough that I’m not hating life by the end of the day, and that don’t scream “MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN WHO HAS GIVEN UP! MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN WHO HAS GIVEN UP!”

I tried on several pairs yesterday, and there was one pair so heinous, yet so comfie, that I had to use my sister as a touchstone for fashion reality, i.e. “would I let EB see me in these shoes?” The answer was a resounding NO.

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